every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
