i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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