i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
