Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
