Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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