My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
