bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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