Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
accomplished twins. life is a go
my shit smells like andre
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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