Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
