Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
