hotel room ftw
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
