I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
