You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
