her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
