can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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