this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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