your thong is hanging out like whoa
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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