So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
being pregnant is like rehab
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
