Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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