so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
