a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
