you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
