4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
