I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
