Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
is it fun? or sober?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
