standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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