I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
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