So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
