They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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