Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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