So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
