she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
