I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
