wakey wakey hands off snakey
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
