Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
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