im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
