Taylor Swift is so right about you.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
