He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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