thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
