Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
