I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
