Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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