Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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