I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
