1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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