Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm like, not good at living.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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