can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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