You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
love makes seman taste better
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
