This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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