eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
